We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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