By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
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I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
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My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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