Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
