I heard we made out
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize