u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
