I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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