plz talk dirty to me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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