4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
