Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
4 words: hood of his car
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
