the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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