you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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