Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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