first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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