Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
