I showed him my bush... on skype.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
