Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
