Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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