just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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