Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
