yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
