There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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