I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
