um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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