I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You are a genius and a whore.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
