Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Mom said you looked used
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
