New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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