I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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