Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
