we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
