I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
