She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Pooping to opera.
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