Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
