smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
