Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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