I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just pynch a tree in the face
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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