I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
