it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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