I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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