So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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