My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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