just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize