if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I am spending my child support on dildos
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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