after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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