i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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