I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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