No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
