hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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