So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
