i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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