no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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