I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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