Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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