Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
