her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
