I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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