it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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