you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
