Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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