Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
