Screwed.edu
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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