Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
