I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
