i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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